"Ow" I yelled "ow" I yelled again as I smashed my head onto the rock solid dirt about a million times. All I could see was the sky and semi dry grass. I could hear room 3 screeching at a cricket game. When I approached the finish line I said "I might sit here for a while I can't stand up because I'm too dizzy. I was rolling like a run away train! Next up was the races. I didn't get a turn until last but I was versing William. All I could see was blue and a yellow brown sort of colour. When I reached the finish the first thing I said was "did I win?" I was full of pain like a chicken with a bullet in its head .
I like how you said you were rolling like a run away train. Mrs Carr
ReplyDeleteYou used good wow words William
ReplyDeleteGreat writing Jackson u did great
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one with two pieces of writing
ReplyDeleteI think this might be about sports?, the use of language is pretty descritive and quite graphic, I really got the idea that this made you feel pretty exhausted, if it was about sports, its almost like a poem because the content and the way its written keeps me guessing, good job, Toni Campbell
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