Monday, May 25, 2015

Snow day by Jackson

The cold air ran through my lungs as snow fluttered down from the sky. There was so much snow it looked like the arctic circle! The snow glowed in the dim light . The snow slowly floated down to the soft ground . I felt numb like I have just fallen over and into a fishing hole .
                                                   THE END

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3 comments:

  1. Mrs CarrMay 25, 2015 at 11:22 PM

    Jackson no wonder you felt numb being out in the glittering snow!

    Star - I like how you used personification saying the air "ran" through your lungs. You made it sound like it had the qualities of a person!

    Wish - use a variety of sentence starters - you have used a lot of "the"

    ReplyDelete
  2. childrenMay 26, 2015 at 3:40 PM

    And describing words
    Mean hook from will

    ReplyDelete
  3. childrenMay 26, 2015 at 3:42 PM

    I like the end bit about the fishing hole and the being numb. From Brodie

    ReplyDelete

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