MASON-My secret fishing spot not
"broom broom"stepped on the pedal and drove fast out to my secret fishing spot. "zip"I cast out just out in the best spot to get fish. "I curt one"I yelled. I put it in the bucket. I cast again I cart one again "cop" I put it in the bucket, "what where is the first one"cop""give it back you dumo bear."cop munch crunch snap cop crunch"I got kill a fid from the bear. I full into the water lots of people spoted me including bob. He cried for a long tim. The blood pored every where in the water and I was deid for every and could not ring me back to life.
THE END!!!
Wow Mason that sounds like a really horrible death! It would have been very scary for Bob seeing that. I liked the way you described how you drove fast to the secret spot. Great to see that most of your sentences make sense.
ReplyDeleteKeep making sure that all of your sentences make sense when you recraft them.
Miss Hubac
Your fishing spot must have stayed a secret...unless the body was found?
ReplyDeleteStar - You used a good hook to make the reader read on.
Wish - You need to re-craft your work and add stronger words and make sure it makes sense.
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